Soooo anyways. I have Tumblr nah http://pastcaring.tumblr.com/
There you go. Enjoy? Pffft
Anyhow, i am going to finish my second essay for Rodders which has caused me to consider suicide SEVERAL times. I'm beginning to et obsessed/paranoid about my weight again ... oh the joy!
Not sure what to right, learnt lots about my self and other's of late. Off to uni soon... bricking it. Father is depressing me about it saying there's no future for anyone job-wise, that i need to socialise, i'm going to have no money, it's going to be hard, i'm going to struggle ... but i'll have fun and they'll be the best years of my life
WHAT THE FUCK DAD SRS?!
Mum's just like ohhh you can do it, but amkes friends.
I want to know where they have gotten this mental idea that i have no friends or i can't make friends from.
Either way when i go i'm not ringing them within the first few months deffo, fucking dragging me darn or being all confusing and what not.
I FEEL LIKE GOING HOME LOCKING MY DOOR AND PLAYING FIFA.
HA!
Sunday, 8 May 2011
Saturday, 19 March 2011
Don't jingle your change sir
Sometimes i read back on my blogs and they just make me feel well ashamed and stupid for talking utter shit and projecting it onto the internet, and inflicting everyone with my poor grammar and writing in general.
So umm yah alot has happened since then. For a start i now have three tattoo's. The elephant, a swallow and a stick-woman. Each one reminds me of different things and people really so :)
Broke my four year little sex thing, really enjoying being single these days, figuring stuff out and what not. Getting excited for uni too i've chose between Farnham, Manchester, Leeds, York and Sheffield... just want to see how i cope on my own and meet totally different people all year around again.
right g2g cause ;) x
So umm yah alot has happened since then. For a start i now have three tattoo's. The elephant, a swallow and a stick-woman. Each one reminds me of different things and people really so :)
Broke my four year little sex thing, really enjoying being single these days, figuring stuff out and what not. Getting excited for uni too i've chose between Farnham, Manchester, Leeds, York and Sheffield... just want to see how i cope on my own and meet totally different people all year around again.
right g2g cause ;) x
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Nelly !
So proud of myself this week. got my tatt my sis said shed get me for my birthday :) its the cutest little elephant :) i got in on my ankle too which took forever to decide because it seems hardly anyone has tattoos there so i couldn't exactly research it.
Il put a pic up at the end of this post. But yeh soon i need to go and enrol in college again, i hope its going to be a good year, this one of late has been pretty shitty, well no actually people have, but iv had to learn you have to forget people who you thought at least gave a crap about you , guess not, gotta say though it really is no loss which im quite surprised at.
Im looking forward to this month though, me zoe and becky are going to the priory on friday have a little drink and a dance, got work at 10 though in the morning how crap ! but thats no problem its not liek we cant go out whenever we want anyways :)
Then now in 2 weeks its leeds fest ! cannot waittttt ! its going to be so much fun ! i really cannot wait but iv gotta get so much crap together for it, which has just reminded me iv gotta write up a list ! need a list ! cause seriously id forget everything otherwise ! right im off shit to dooooooo :)
BYE ! X
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Choices
REETTT ! id right what im really thinking but i know i can write much better when im not in rant mode, but short and sweet. fuck you. buhbye and get a grip :)
cutting people out.
they say they dont care and what not, so shouldnt be an issue. we shall see you know cause its innocent enough. yeh k
cutting people out.
they say they dont care and what not, so shouldnt be an issue. we shall see you know cause its innocent enough. yeh k
Friday, 9 July 2010
Video diary whut ?!
My idea ... so i dont forget it !
Mother dosent like it ... so i figure im on the right track :)
well its going to be a documentary for channel 4 most likely seeing as that is where my inspiration has come from.
they often do body and weight shows sooo why dont i.
Il have to go to the doctors and everything to see if its possible obv. but even if it isnt photoshop is there :) LOL
So the main jist of it may be a little stupid to others (because they think im already fine and skinny enough as it is) but im going to attempt to get down to size 0. different for me because of my height which means it shouldnt be oo dangerous but im not that worried i know it will turn out better than if i did my original idea , mining strike.
im planning on doing:
video diary of negative effects of lack of food and what not
interviews with public on celebs i.e cherly cole at her size 12? average size then her at her lowest size 6 or 0 w.e she was
symptoms of anna and bulimia
dangers to health at such a low weight
social negatives
personal negatives etc
doctors theory on how to get a healthy body using excercise and healthy eating
and at the end depending on how well i do personally i will either manage to get to size 0 and do the before and after shots orrrr if i cba and if i dont have enough time (was plannin to do it for a month but that may be too long) so if i end up just doing it for 2 weeks i can make the doctor simply say its too dangerous and do a before and after using photoshop, so the audience gather what im trying to do
so thats it :)
im pretty excited tbh
x
Mother dosent like it ... so i figure im on the right track :)
well its going to be a documentary for channel 4 most likely seeing as that is where my inspiration has come from.
they often do body and weight shows sooo why dont i.
Il have to go to the doctors and everything to see if its possible obv. but even if it isnt photoshop is there :) LOL
So the main jist of it may be a little stupid to others (because they think im already fine and skinny enough as it is) but im going to attempt to get down to size 0. different for me because of my height which means it shouldnt be oo dangerous but im not that worried i know it will turn out better than if i did my original idea , mining strike.
im planning on doing:
video diary of negative effects of lack of food and what not
interviews with public on celebs i.e cherly cole at her size 12? average size then her at her lowest size 6 or 0 w.e she was
symptoms of anna and bulimia
dangers to health at such a low weight
social negatives
personal negatives etc
doctors theory on how to get a healthy body using excercise and healthy eating
and at the end depending on how well i do personally i will either manage to get to size 0 and do the before and after shots orrrr if i cba and if i dont have enough time (was plannin to do it for a month but that may be too long) so if i end up just doing it for 2 weeks i can make the doctor simply say its too dangerous and do a before and after using photoshop, so the audience gather what im trying to do
so thats it :)
im pretty excited tbh
x
Choices
Right well !
South Elmsall fwends have recently been and came back from Turkey, so i figured this would be the chance to get in contacts with some old friends, so this week has been really good catching up and what not. went to the movies with ryan and then went to wetherspoons for a quick drink after. work the next day wasnt great.i genuinely dont think it was the drink i had, i only had 6 drinks ! but i ended up getting the shakes and burning up, so i ended up fainting for a Little while, forced to go home, it sooo wasnt that bad. but it was a good time.
Off out to see lissa today, need to catch up, my mate beckys going who she met before. going job hunting so she can come leeds fest too. should be a good day :) hopefully get to walking around and what not, need to lose weight again, to be honest i have cut down on exercise alot, just need to keep in mind i have to cut down on food to and soon ! although i have been walking about alot and i mean alot, plus work is knackering, you shouldnt sweat when at work its so grose !
but off to get ready :) not a clue what to wear today :/
need to get some leeds fest gear :) decorated my wellies they look amazing my sister thought i bought them :) and then we've all bought separate tents, got my sleeping bag sorted too, might spend the week off sorting out Leeds fest gear tbh would be a smart move deffo.
but before leeds fest is my birthday ! on monday it will be 3 weeks ! changed my mind on what to sdo hundreds of times, but now iv decided ( because i deffo want to go out on my bday ) iv decided to get everyone to go wetherspoons for a meal thing (not formal they dont have to eat, i duno if i will be) and then drinks after ( xcause they are cheap ! ) so hopefully those who matter will come :)
RIGHT im off ! shit to doooooo
x
South Elmsall fwends have recently been and came back from Turkey, so i figured this would be the chance to get in contacts with some old friends, so this week has been really good catching up and what not. went to the movies with ryan and then went to wetherspoons for a quick drink after. work the next day wasnt great.i genuinely dont think it was the drink i had, i only had 6 drinks ! but i ended up getting the shakes and burning up, so i ended up fainting for a Little while, forced to go home, it sooo wasnt that bad. but it was a good time.
Off out to see lissa today, need to catch up, my mate beckys going who she met before. going job hunting so she can come leeds fest too. should be a good day :) hopefully get to walking around and what not, need to lose weight again, to be honest i have cut down on exercise alot, just need to keep in mind i have to cut down on food to and soon ! although i have been walking about alot and i mean alot, plus work is knackering, you shouldnt sweat when at work its so grose !
but off to get ready :) not a clue what to wear today :/
need to get some leeds fest gear :) decorated my wellies they look amazing my sister thought i bought them :) and then we've all bought separate tents, got my sleeping bag sorted too, might spend the week off sorting out Leeds fest gear tbh would be a smart move deffo.
but before leeds fest is my birthday ! on monday it will be 3 weeks ! changed my mind on what to sdo hundreds of times, but now iv decided ( because i deffo want to go out on my bday ) iv decided to get everyone to go wetherspoons for a meal thing (not formal they dont have to eat, i duno if i will be) and then drinks after ( xcause they are cheap ! ) so hopefully those who matter will come :)
RIGHT im off ! shit to doooooo
x
Monday, 31 May 2010
I LIKE YOU SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOUR NAKED ! ;D
Right so !
Had such a good weekend well week too really. Been in such a good mood and what not, meant to have finished college last week but we only just finished all of our assignments so we have to go in next week just to get our results and bits and bobs back to improve and stuff, which i dont mind i enjoy college, its just going to meet with all of your mates really.
So this weekend i exercised on Friday (well needed, trust meh) then Saturday i went to Flanagans because his mother was throwing a Hawaiian/holiday party for her birthday, i looked more boho than Hawaiian but still :) i fake tanned too ! and still managed to look the palest there WTAF ! ha
So yeh got home at 3am, then had to be up at work at 9. Then managed to get an hours kip when i got home because i went to my college mates (Jake's) mate's house party do dahh thing that night, stopped at his. But we were chit chatting til like 4am and had to catch the train at 9ish which then didnt show till quarter to 11 but nevermind fresh air and that ha.
And today now monday, got back from south elmsall and then went straight to work today and i still havnt slept since, past tired now though plus i need to do my exercise before i do otherwise i know i wont do it :/
Gotta be up at half 7 tomorrow to get ready for work at 9, luckily my crazy auntie is picking me up (saves me an hour on grotty transport)thank-god !
But yeh good weekend overall, over that boy (rather quick i know ha) but my god after being at Jakes mates i felt so depressed they were all coupled up ! There was me Jake and his mate Jake (who is actually rather nice ha) who were the only single ones ! and then i got on my facebook today and everyone is declaring their love for each other ! Where's mine ?! haha i actually think i want a boyfriend or somthing nowadays. The ice-queen is melting :o ha haha
Its ridiculous !
But yeh think this summer is going to be reallllly goood :)
planning to go to the beach with Noodles this week or next? When its nice either way, maybe invite some more people ???
Either way i can now after working 23.30 hours this week ! 7 hour shift to do tomorrow IT IS GOING TO KILL ME ! then college wed n Thursday. maybe Friday? not sure iv been put down to work so id rather do that and then go out with them on the night or sumthing, depending on when im working the next day obv
FEELS GOOD TO HAVE MONEY AGAIN ! :D Well it will on Thursday (pay day)
haha well im going now need to wait another half hour for my BBQ to settle then im going running or someting like that, probably dance, you can work up a right sweat aha
x
Had such a good weekend well week too really. Been in such a good mood and what not, meant to have finished college last week but we only just finished all of our assignments so we have to go in next week just to get our results and bits and bobs back to improve and stuff, which i dont mind i enjoy college, its just going to meet with all of your mates really.
So this weekend i exercised on Friday (well needed, trust meh) then Saturday i went to Flanagans because his mother was throwing a Hawaiian/holiday party for her birthday, i looked more boho than Hawaiian but still :) i fake tanned too ! and still managed to look the palest there WTAF ! ha
So yeh got home at 3am, then had to be up at work at 9. Then managed to get an hours kip when i got home because i went to my college mates (Jake's) mate's house party do dahh thing that night, stopped at his. But we were chit chatting til like 4am and had to catch the train at 9ish which then didnt show till quarter to 11 but nevermind fresh air and that ha.
And today now monday, got back from south elmsall and then went straight to work today and i still havnt slept since, past tired now though plus i need to do my exercise before i do otherwise i know i wont do it :/
Gotta be up at half 7 tomorrow to get ready for work at 9, luckily my crazy auntie is picking me up (saves me an hour on grotty transport)thank-god !
But yeh good weekend overall, over that boy (rather quick i know ha) but my god after being at Jakes mates i felt so depressed they were all coupled up ! There was me Jake and his mate Jake (who is actually rather nice ha) who were the only single ones ! and then i got on my facebook today and everyone is declaring their love for each other ! Where's mine ?! haha i actually think i want a boyfriend or somthing nowadays. The ice-queen is melting :o ha haha
Its ridiculous !
But yeh think this summer is going to be reallllly goood :)
planning to go to the beach with Noodles this week or next? When its nice either way, maybe invite some more people ???
Either way i can now after working 23.30 hours this week ! 7 hour shift to do tomorrow IT IS GOING TO KILL ME ! then college wed n Thursday. maybe Friday? not sure iv been put down to work so id rather do that and then go out with them on the night or sumthing, depending on when im working the next day obv
FEELS GOOD TO HAVE MONEY AGAIN ! :D Well it will on Thursday (pay day)
haha well im going now need to wait another half hour for my BBQ to settle then im going running or someting like that, probably dance, you can work up a right sweat aha
x
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