ANOREXIC BEAUTY

Right so i went to see Remember Me
very good actually
some bits rather random and what not
but the ending is just like woah, they did not just go there, talk about taboo, specially for America
anyways rather sad to say the least because the film is so relatable
so yeah just have a good happy film on after or anything cause man that shits rather depressing. well it was for me anyways cause i already dont think im gunna make it till im old anyways, i have a weird feeling i wont get past 20, which is why i get more pissed off and frustrated when im stuck in all day, i can just feel myself getting borded and lazier and just down.
In fact im getting sick of it all tbh, i mean i do get invited out and stuff but i just dont enjoy it because im stuck in all day and then when i do get out im just past caring and i just think well what waste of a day
i seriously need to find new friends, i mean i like mine but i think im just past it, ive already been through all the drug n shit when i was like 14 so i just get bored by it these days, plus its taking my mates away from me in the first place i mean yeah they have a good night and stuff, i think i dont know i dont see them seeing as they just walk off into another room and leave me with the shit music, then dont talk anyways when they come back.
Then they dont sleep till like when they get home which will be sumet stupid like 6 in the morning or w.e and then sometimes they dont sleep at all, which means their either in bed or too tired to wana do out. Although whenever i ask to do anything no-one wants to do oat even though their already walking around out and about, so im just there thinking ytf am i even mates with these people.
its gotten to the point where no-one wants to go out unless its with drink or drugs, but then there are nights when we just go to a mates house and watch a film with a drink and sumet to eat which is good, but everyone else will probably think thats boring or sumthing.
Then whenever i am out with my mates, im the one who gets ripped or picked on the most or w.e you wana call it, and i know its a joke, but seeing as its happened constantly since i was in like year 7 i just think yeah fuck off you prick trying to belittle me cause what i said was half intelligent and not some sarcastic little snyde comment.
argh just need a whole new life these days, i mean i dont care what i do or where i go in a day just so long as its out of my fucking house with half decent conversations PLEASE THERE MUST BE PEOPLE OUT THERE !!!
i feel like im slagging everyone off but i have to bite my tongue so often and its not like im losing out on anything anyways iv had to rely on my own company for years so what do i care. i mean iv even had to walk to cussy by myself these days because ive got that pissed off at being inside and fucked off with everyone bullshitting saying their busy or not doing anything that ive just walked out and kept walking till iv got cold, or lost the anger.
how pathetic right, it shouldnt be this way.
They say you can count your best actual mates on one hand, well i can do one better i can count mine on one finger, i thought it was two but i think thats just drifted to far apart to count anymore, i think i had been hoping not, but every time i need them even just to talk to for over 10 seconds at least its just not there anymore, so i think i may aswell just cut my looses on that one because i just get more angry with them than anyone else because their supposed to be there !!
Well im going because im just getting angrier and whoever reads this, specially if it is my mates or w.e are just gonna fall out with me but w.e this is mu opinion of what i think lately, they can easily help me change my mind about everything but i think everyone thinks i dont get involved or w.e anyways, even though i would if i was even remotely interested in half the stuff or w.e but anyways going ! !!