Nelly !

So proud of myself this week. got my tatt my sis said shed get me for my birthday :) its the cutest little elephant :) i got in on my ankle too which took forever to decide because it seems hardly anyone has tattoos there so i couldn't exactly research it.
Il put a pic up at the end of this post. But yeh soon i need to go and enrol in college again, i hope its going to be a good year, this one of late has been pretty shitty, well no actually people have, but iv had to learn you have to forget people who you thought at least gave a crap about you , guess not, gotta say though it really is no loss which im quite surprised at.
Im looking forward to this month though, me zoe and becky are going to the priory on friday have a little drink and a dance, got work at 10 though in the morning how crap ! but thats no problem its not liek we cant go out whenever we want anyways :)
Then now in 2 weeks its leeds fest ! cannot waittttt ! its going to be so much fun ! i really cannot wait but iv gotta get so much crap together for it, which has just reminded me iv gotta write up a list ! need a list ! cause seriously id forget everything otherwise ! right im off shit to dooooooo :)
BYE ! X

Choices

REETTT ! id right what im really thinking but i know i can write much better when im not in rant mode, but short and sweet. fuck you. buhbye and get a grip :)
cutting people out.
they say they dont care and what not, so shouldnt be an issue. we shall see you know cause its innocent enough. yeh k

Video diary whut ?!

My idea ... so i dont forget it !
Mother dosent like it ... so i figure im on the right track :)
well its going to be a documentary for channel 4 most likely seeing as that is where my inspiration has come from.
they often do body and weight shows sooo why dont i.
Il have to go to the doctors and everything to see if its possible obv. but even if it isnt photoshop is there :) LOL
So the main jist of it may be a little stupid to others (because they think im already fine and skinny enough as it is) but im going to attempt to get down to size 0. different for me because of my height which means it shouldnt be oo dangerous but im not that worried i know it will turn out better than if i did my original idea , mining strike.
im planning on doing:
video diary of negative effects of lack of food and what not
interviews with public on celebs i.e cherly cole at her size 12? average size then her at her lowest size 6 or 0 w.e she was
symptoms of anna and bulimia
dangers to health at such a low weight
social negatives
personal negatives etc
doctors theory on how to get a healthy body using excercise and healthy eating
and at the end depending on how well i do personally i will either manage to get to size 0 and do the before and after shots orrrr if i cba and if i dont have enough time (was plannin to do it for a month but that may be too long) so if i end up just doing it for 2 weeks i can make the doctor simply say its too dangerous and do a before and after using photoshop, so the audience gather what im trying to do
so thats it :)
im pretty excited tbh
x

Choices

Right well !
South Elmsall fwends have recently been and came back from Turkey, so i figured this would be the chance to get in contacts with some old friends, so this week has been really good catching up and what not. went to the movies with ryan and then went to wetherspoons for a quick drink after. work the next day wasnt great.i genuinely dont think it was the drink i had, i only had 6 drinks ! but i ended up getting the shakes and burning up, so i ended up fainting for a Little while, forced to go home, it sooo wasnt that bad. but it was a good time.
Off out to see lissa today, need to catch up, my mate beckys going who she met before. going job hunting so she can come leeds fest too. should be a good day :) hopefully get to walking around and what not, need to lose weight again, to be honest i have cut down on exercise alot, just need to keep in mind i have to cut down on food to and soon ! although i have been walking about alot and i mean alot, plus work is knackering, you shouldnt sweat when at work its so grose !
but off to get ready :) not a clue what to wear today :/
need to get some leeds fest gear :) decorated my wellies they look amazing my sister thought i bought them :) and then we've all bought separate tents, got my sleeping bag sorted too, might spend the week off sorting out Leeds fest gear tbh would be a smart move deffo.
but before leeds fest is my birthday ! on monday it will be 3 weeks ! changed my mind on what to sdo hundreds of times, but now iv decided ( because i deffo want to go out on my bday ) iv decided to get everyone to go wetherspoons for a meal thing (not formal they dont have to eat, i duno if i will be) and then drinks after ( xcause they are cheap ! ) so hopefully those who matter will come :)

RIGHT im off ! shit to doooooo
x

I LIKE YOU SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOUR NAKED ! ;D

Right so !
Had such a good weekend well week too really. Been in such a good mood and what not, meant to have finished college last week but we only just finished all of our assignments so we have to go in next week just to get our results and bits and bobs back to improve and stuff, which i dont mind i enjoy college, its just going to meet with all of your mates really.
So this weekend i exercised on Friday (well needed, trust meh) then Saturday i went to Flanagans because his mother was throwing a Hawaiian/holiday party for her birthday, i looked more boho than Hawaiian but still :) i fake tanned too ! and still managed to look the palest there WTAF ! ha
So yeh got home at 3am, then had to be up at work at 9. Then managed to get an hours kip when i got home because i went to my college mates (Jake's) mate's house party do dahh thing that night, stopped at his. But we were chit chatting til like 4am and had to catch the train at 9ish which then didnt show till quarter to 11 but nevermind fresh air and that ha.
And today now monday, got back from south elmsall and then went straight to work today and i still havnt slept since, past tired now though plus i need to do my exercise before i do otherwise i know i wont do it :/
Gotta be up at half 7 tomorrow to get ready for work at 9, luckily my crazy auntie is picking me up (saves me an hour on grotty transport)thank-god !
But yeh good weekend overall, over that boy (rather quick i know ha) but my god after being at Jakes mates i felt so depressed they were all coupled up ! There was me Jake and his mate Jake (who is actually rather nice ha) who were the only single ones ! and then i got on my facebook today and everyone is declaring their love for each other ! Where's mine ?! haha i actually think i want a boyfriend or somthing nowadays. The ice-queen is melting :o ha haha
Its ridiculous !
But yeh think this summer is going to be reallllly goood :)
planning to go to the beach with Noodles this week or next? When its nice either way, maybe invite some more people ???
Either way i can now after working 23.30 hours this week ! 7 hour shift to do tomorrow IT IS GOING TO KILL ME ! then college wed n Thursday. maybe Friday? not sure iv been put down to work so id rather do that and then go out with them on the night or sumthing, depending on when im working the next day obv
FEELS GOOD TO HAVE MONEY AGAIN ! :D Well it will on Thursday (pay day)
haha well im going now need to wait another half hour for my BBQ to settle then im going running or someting like that, probably dance, you can work up a right sweat aha
x

The Cereal Aisle

Okay so today at college my mate Noodles was joking about asking if i wanted to go Morrisons later because his didnt have one in Sheffield, i was already doubting his seriousness but he just said it so normally, plus i do love wandering around Morrisons with friends . So after i discovered (much to my embarrassment) that he WAS joking he left me this message on my Facebook wall, which has now lead into this conversation. Im putting it on my wall just because i find it so funny and id like to read back onit later for shitz and gigglez so here:

Alexander G. Simpson I've been waiting at the cereal section of Morrisons for an hour now Jade! where the fuck are you?!

Jade Jobes Im not trying to be funny or anything but the cereal ailse literally is my favourite aisle in the whole store ... no joke , how weird :S ha

Alexander G. Simpson Hahaha. Why? What possible reason could you have for it being your favourite aisle?

Jade Jobes Cereal is my favourite food. Serious Milk is gooooood Cereal is gooooood . you can have it as chocolate, rice, biscuits and yeh it comes in all forms ! Do you not have a favourite ailse? i can spend ages deciding which cereal is best
Alexander G. Simpson likes this.

Every Time You Go

Right so yeha, forgot about this for a while tbh
So this whole boy situation. well i had the opportunity to kiss him on my first night out in town, only went to the priory but it was a good night. So i had the chance but i didnt even try WTF was that about really ?!
So now i had word vomit to him and told him i thought he was bored of me because im not confident and just this little awkward thing who punches people when they compliment her. WHAT ON EARTH.
So yeh i haven't text him or spoke to him on facebook either after that, too embarrassed, well i tried to talk to him on facebook and i just couldnt make the effort to carry the conversation AGAIN
But ive been more bothered about going out with my mates from college, they re always out and about in South Elmsall at the pub and what not, so ive had a really good week out with them, its been the perfect weather for it :) so now im thinking summer boyfriend?? or do i just want summer friends?? either way im determined to have a great summer, plus Leeds Fest performers have been announced, well more of them anyways, im gunna lose so much weight dacning about and trying to see everyone haha ITS GOING TO BE SO GOOD I CAN FEEL IT :) AHAHAH
Oh and im at this Hawaiian party thing enxt week, tried losing weight? well not really ive been to busy and then too tired on a night to excercise properly managed to do Pilate's and dance about a couple of nights but i dont have the time or energy of late :) which is a good thing. So now im going to use these next few days to just drink loads (of water) and eat a lot less crap.
I have an egg thing lately, so weird i lovezzz dem :) egg sanwhiches for alll !!!!!
Oh and we finish college next week too, 3 months of nothing ha , gunna get cracking with my theory and driving though, want to pass by the time im 18, so 2 months to do tyhat :) BUSY BUSY BUSY
Woerking for 5 days at one point in the next week, MONEYZZZZZZZ FO ME perfect timing too. Need to start saving and what not, LOTS PLANNED :)
right have to go , the cuboards are bare and so is the fridge plus ive ran out of eggs ........... sooooo off to morrisons :)
TOODLES ! X

Nothing Compares

Right so yeah you know how i was moaning about wanting to meet new people?? Well i did, a boy ! haha its so weird i dont like it, i dont think, i cant believe how much i get annoyed when he dosent text back for ages :S i dont like it ! im not one of those lovey dovey people, who use babe and all of that stuff, so i just basically seem like the ice queen haha, but thats just me.
So i think i like him, i dont know today's been a weird day, in fact this week's been a weird week really. Ive lost half a stone because ive been anxious all week, even i think thats a bit mad, but i cant eat, i try and then manage to get in three bits of w.e and then i just cant be bothered, i feel like ugh il find something else in a bit, then i never do.
I really dont like this,i think
ARGH JUST FUCK OFF :S im not used to this, i dont know how to act or anything, cause im weird but i duno
I JUST DONT KNOW ANYTHING

ANOREXIC BEAUTY

Right so i went to see Remember Me
very good actually
some bits rather random and what not
but the ending is just like woah, they did not just go there, talk about taboo, specially for America
anyways rather sad to say the least because the film is so relatable
so yeah just have a good happy film on after or anything cause man that shits rather depressing. well it was for me anyways cause i already dont think im gunna make it till im old anyways, i have a weird feeling i wont get past 20, which is why i get more pissed off and frustrated when im stuck in all day, i can just feel myself getting borded and lazier and just down.
In fact im getting sick of it all tbh, i mean i do get invited out and stuff but i just dont enjoy it because im stuck in all day and then when i do get out im just past caring and i just think well what waste of a day
i seriously need to find new friends, i mean i like mine but i think im just past it, ive already been through all the drug n shit when i was like 14 so i just get bored by it these days, plus its taking my mates away from me in the first place i mean yeah they have a good night and stuff, i think i dont know i dont see them seeing as they just walk off into another room and leave me with the shit music, then dont talk anyways when they come back.
Then they dont sleep till like when they get home which will be sumet stupid like 6 in the morning or w.e and then sometimes they dont sleep at all, which means their either in bed or too tired to wana do out. Although whenever i ask to do anything no-one wants to do oat even though their already walking around out and about, so im just there thinking ytf am i even mates with these people.
its gotten to the point where no-one wants to go out unless its with drink or drugs, but then there are nights when we just go to a mates house and watch a film with a drink and sumet to eat which is good, but everyone else will probably think thats boring or sumthing.
Then whenever i am out with my mates, im the one who gets ripped or picked on the most or w.e you wana call it, and i know its a joke, but seeing as its happened constantly since i was in like year 7 i just think yeah fuck off you prick trying to belittle me cause what i said was half intelligent and not some sarcastic little snyde comment.
argh just need a whole new life these days, i mean i dont care what i do or where i go in a day just so long as its out of my fucking house with half decent conversations PLEASE THERE MUST BE PEOPLE OUT THERE !!!
i feel like im slagging everyone off but i have to bite my tongue so often and its not like im losing out on anything anyways iv had to rely on my own company for years so what do i care. i mean iv even had to walk to cussy by myself these days because ive got that pissed off at being inside and fucked off with everyone bullshitting saying their busy or not doing anything that ive just walked out and kept walking till iv got cold, or lost the anger.
how pathetic right, it shouldnt be this way.
They say you can count your best actual mates on one hand, well i can do one better i can count mine on one finger, i thought it was two but i think thats just drifted to far apart to count anymore, i think i had been hoping not, but every time i need them even just to talk to for over 10 seconds at least its just not there anymore, so i think i may aswell just cut my looses on that one because i just get more angry with them than anyone else because their supposed to be there !!
Well im going because im just getting angrier and whoever reads this, specially if it is my mates or w.e are just gonna fall out with me but w.e this is mu opinion of what i think lately, they can easily help me change my mind about everything but i think everyone thinks i dont get involved or w.e anyways, even though i would if i was even remotely interested in half the stuff or w.e but anyways going ! !!

funnehhh convo i thought

jade: going to see remeber me tomorrow
dean: haha because of the story, or Pattinson?
jade:pattinson obv, one for the wank bank
ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT !!
dean:lmao!

Just remebered

Dean just reminded me, went to see kick ass the other day
fucking amazing !!!
spent most of the film getting over the fact that the 12 year old was KILLING people like it was no-bodies business , ha so good
going to see Remember me tomorrow
Robert Pattinson, hiyarghhh
btw Jack Whitehall and Robert Pattinson as one person would be my dream man
end of
x

so hiya

GUESS WHOS GOING LEEDS FEST BIATCHEZZZZZ
YEH ME
never been to a festival, so i figure that ill go to a huge one for the whole five days
who cares mothers paying
Leeds fest diet has begun, lets turn it into a lifestyle
i need to train myself into a big drunken mess
yes thats right, no food, lots of dancing and even more drinking
you know
my mum bought me an 'emergency poncho' but im just going to give it Gibo , i want a pretty one
ha
my mums talking to me right now but im completely ignoring her
shes so annoying
but shes got tha monzeeez so ya know, gots ta roll with it
cz pops aint guna losen those purse strings till hes dead
i can say this and not feel bad cause he keeps saying to us all that we will be happy when hes gone
my mothers comeback was pure brilliance
father: you'll all be happy when im gone, so you can have my money and im out of the way
mother: well why dont you slash your wrists and have done with it
i was speechless, it was fantastic, i began to curl up in a bawl howling with laughter, my mother even started laughing, i think my dad just walked upstairs and probably started crying, or began re-writing his will to one of his 'mates' who hes always at the pub with
ha just had to write this, so i dont forget
LOL x

Silence

Sat here with tears streaming down my face right now.
Been sat in all day at home, had my driving lesson first thing, then tried to do some college work but im just so tired all the time, so ended up falling asleep for a few hours, and now iv been doing college work for ages and guess what comp crashes and its all gone, slightly numb now past caring. ill just do it all over again.
So now my mum's just came in and purposely picked an argument, which means she's gone into my bedroom and picked up all my bags and stuff and thrown them everywhere and then told me to clear it up because im a scrubber, that i dont care about, fair doos w.e i was gonna clean it up after i finished this Tim Burton bio, you know do the whole bit, hoover and dust even. But now shes picked an argument and thrown a tantrum i couldnt care less anymore, now i just dont even wana go near it. Well played mother.
That though im not bothered about, the bit i am bothered about refers to my older post, you know the one starting with I HATE MY PARENTS. Well she did allll that and then started yelling at me telling me how little i do, how little my dad does, how were both always 'up in the air' and then started saying how my sister is never here (wonder why, would it have anything to do with this oppressive small minded family of mine? ohhh perhaps) and then saying how if i 'dare start going on about how no-ones cares about me' or w.e then i can 'get ready'. Yes i believe that was a threat, surprise. She keeps saying if i want to live like 'this', w.e 'this' might even be then i can find somewhere else, yeah love to see how that would work out, when she practically cries about the fact that my brother and sister are hardly here anymore yet she's telling me to go somewhere else kind of makes me think i should. I mean when i go to uni she can fuck if she thinks im staying at home or coming back after the first year, im never coming back as soon as ive gone.
So she's been saying all this (which reminds me, ive never been immature enough to ever say no-one cares about me, i have said no-one listens to me, as i have previously pointed out in a previous post, which completely proves the point during my mum's 'conversation' with me today, and then she's just stormed downstairs and gone out somewhere in her car.
But that wasnt before dumping on me the fact that she wants to leave, she dosent want to live here anymore, because of my dad and me. You know what, for dumping that shit all on me, who she dosnt even know anymore, i couldn't care less, a divorce would do my mum and dad good. My mum cant put my dad down anymore and can start feeling like a man again, going out with his friends and socialising, one thing my mum wont do, and my dad can stop making my mum miserable by his inconsideration for anyone else but himself, by lying to my mum saying he's going to Bently pub when my sister sees him round town, and snoring incredibly loudly every single night, even i can hear it through two rooms, no exaggeration there btw.
My sister has halfway moved out on the sly, which im kind of glad about because id be happy if i did the same, yet im the one left to get all the backlash and watch my mum and dad drift apart as i have done since around the age of 14, when my dad thought it would be appropriate to ask me, what i would do if they split up, because he dosnt think that they love each other anymore, oh yeah and that was on ohhh the second or third night of our family holiday, about 5 minutes before my mum and sister came to join us at out table.
Its been like that for years, in fact i think that was the last conversation me and my dad have actually had, since then its just been orders and shouting at how i have to tidy my bedroom, and how he constantly 'forgets' my dinner money every single week.
well at least my tears have dried now, im just really angry instead and i just wana get out, im just going to stay here doing more college work till someone comes home, even though at this very moment in time i dont wana stay here, i just wana get out and stay somewhere else for a while, but i have absolutely no-where i can go, at least my mum has here sisters or her mums and my dad has his mates or my grandma's or his sisters. Me not so much.

Hammond song

so hiya
bit better since my last post
that rant still makes me laugh when i read it back
:D
well went out on Sunday, managed to stay up till like 5. I think. And for someone on nothing but disgusting alcopops and red bull who had been up since 9am i think that i did pretty well. Although i have no clue why i was the only one throwing up. Embarrassing, i knew red bull didn't agree with me but that was ridiculous!
and why is it that threes ALWAYS carrots in your sick, which of course makes you sick even more. hhaa i have to laugh Just thinking about it. it was funny like.
Pretty sure ive ate the amount of food i threw up today like, been craving sugar, its THAT time, ugh talk about fat day. PAH
Well college tomorrow, cant be bothered to do any college work at all, even though its not hard and will only take 2 minutes, but this STABBING pain in my stomach is slightly putting me off. Wonder why?!
Im going to google hair ideas,i dont know what to do with mine:
Keep the fringe
grow it back out
grow my hair
cut it shorter, if so how short
blah di da blah
Music video Saturday, god help me and my organisation skills, need to remember to NOT BE BOSSY lol easaaaaaaay :D just need to learn how to use the camera first ! ha im doing a media course and ive not even touched a camera yet! although it's because of that FAT BITCH who went control freak as soon as all the writing was done. TARD . I mean who mispells Bitch in big block letters, and dosent even notice haaaaaaaaasilllllllly BITH . HAHAHAHAAAHAAAA BYE DARLINGS !
X

Possiblity

OMG I HATE MY PARENTS!
such a teenage thing to say but im past caring
ive been at college since September and my mum and dad both have no fucking clue what so ever about what days im there, from what time or even what fucking course im doing!
yet my sister who has recently started a new job, well they know what times she's there, what the companies called probably even her fucking boss
i might threaten to move out too and see if that may make a change
doubt it
and guess what my mum said today to me
'what have you even done in the past 6 months'
then through a water bottle in my face, so i through it back(dont know where it hit her, but i hope it was straight in her fat face) and stormed off
SHE HAS NO FUCKING CLUE!
she works at a school, as a wannabe teacher(teaching but with all the spaz's and future criminals) so basically babysitting all day, then comes home, does a few loads of washing, and even that's a Friday or sumet, we have a dishwasher, oh and she iron's, her big claim to doing shit loads of house work
thats all she does

me on the other hand well i go to college 3 days a week, with shit loads of college work to do both in and out of college, i mean just this half term ive had 3 different assignments to do along with research too
i then have a job which i work at Saturday,Sunday and Monday and maybe Tuesday along with exercising everyday for at least half an hour
both mentally and psychically ive been changing and progressing through these last fucking 6 months!
instead she sits on her arse as soon as she's through the door and eats chocolate and shit and stares at me as though im a fucking Ana because im half bothered about being a fucking coach potato both now and in the future. Yet she's the one who eats sumet and then goes through it back up, almost every fucking time, and my dad who dosent eat anything at all apart from shit at night!!! argh yet im the one they look at as though im crazy WTF SERIOUSLY
My dad omg dont get me started on that fucking child, hes completely unaware of everything going around him, he sits on his arse everyday driving a lorry, yet he doesn't claim to do shit loads apposed to my mum. Yet he is so incredibly stupid sometimes, i mean his idea of fun is going to sit in a manky old pub with his 'mates' drinking beer and watching TV, something you can also do for a lot cheaper at home!
At least he gets out though and tries going out, my mum oh no she darnt bloody socialise
SO PISSED OFF
isound like im feeling sorry for myself but she has no fucking clue, my dad dosent even know how old i am for christ sake!
i mean the other week i asked him to buy me some drink, and he said' why dont you get it yourself?'
'erm maybe cause you have to be 18 dad'
'oh your not 18 yet?'
YOU FUCKING MORONIC MAN!
right im going, RANT OVER !
TILL THE NEXT ONE HAAAAAAAAA
XXXXX

Save this town

Stuck in all day again
Even my driving lesson was cancelled
its a sign
just got on with college work lets face it theres fuck all else to do
to young to do anything decent and to old i get bored with everything else
and i really dont want to
kept up a constant crying session today
nice one
i know why but lets face it who gives a fuck
anyways im still in a shit mood feel really angry but theres no point
so im going to do sumet to salvage this shitty day
im not wasting tomorrow


such an shit post
bye

The infinite pet

Feel amazing lately, completly flying ahead with my work, so no need to stress about that, lets face it working at greggs is even easier,plenty of money in the bank, overall feel great. need to get out more though, i havnt seen any of my mates for over 2 weeks now yet theyve all been out, but thats my fault anyway.
ANYWAYS iv bin sat here doing yet more college work for hours so im going to go MOVE feel like my weights going the wrong way again, but that may be more to do with the fact that when im bored or sat still for a while or whatever i can feel myself getting fatter, its so retarded. But hey im off :D BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE X

If we ever meet again

I really do love that song atm
Went to Leeds and fell in love with it !
i could see me there when i go to uni which i am so up for atm its really weird
Vintage shops there were brill and everyone was so young and normal
no chavs just emoy scene kids or whatever you call them which are just quite anyways
Been asked to go to town on a night out with friends for his birthday, slight problem, I'm not old enough oh and no-one i know looks anything like me !
so that's one I'm gonna have to miss out on AGAIN
Anyways had a really good week, feel happier than i have in a Long time, going to college tomorrow to get ahead with my college work and again on Thursday to start some new projects and finish off others.
Going to be very busy in the next few months, preparing myself for that, not going to get half as stressed as i did before.
already THROUGH MOST OF THE BEGINNING BIT WHICH IS GOOD. Got more shifts at work after hardly any for like 2 weeks, plus i need to get y money back up after Leeds, whoops spent just a bit too much, but i really don't care haaa
right on a positive note I'm going to find out how to do this hairstyle via Google, yes i am sad never mind ciao ! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Suddenly i see

This post really is probably going to be just full of crap like the rest still ...
got a ton of work today all due in at the end of Feb to carry on beginning the rest of the project, I'm really starting to like college even more now i don't know why I'm just really happy there atm.
i was going to start talking about more on here but i just feel like whatever i write someones going to take the piss. i really shouldn't think that way and i hate that i do but i don't know. Feel like everyone has something to give but I'm just there for numbers. I get invited places and stuff but i just don't feel like theres any difference for me to be there anymore. i actually feel part of something at college and I'm actually enjoying it but i don't want to feel that way in just one place
I'm seriously shutting up now
ill read this again and just think
shut the fuck up
and stop feeling sorry for yourself
which is what I'm going to do

There goes the fear

Notice how i still haven't moved? i just began checking on other randomers blogs, man how much time they must spend on them making them look nice and personal. On some you can clearly see that there desperate to make it look like a piece of them for everyone to see. i get it, i really do, but when its so obvious its rather funny.
My hands are beginning to become like ice, Ive just thought i need to do so much this year,
learn to play guitar even more, perhaps capable of doing it publicly (don't hold your breath)
learn my theory and learn how to drive (teacher is a piss take)
go to festivals
have fun !
I'm always quiet and that lately but nothing is wrong, people don't get sometimes when you want to be quite and just watch, then let them. ill join in when i want to k.
right this time I'm really going to get changed and do something worth while today or else ill be bored and annoyed tonight.
finally bye again x

You make my dreams

Obsessed with the 500 days soundtrack and film ! it 's brill
I'm only on this because I'm procrastinating, i need to get on with an essay or at least start the research, cba ! plus I'm already getting dead legs although that will go away when i stop sitting on them.
I need to get dressed, i haven't changed out of my dads old tshirt in 2 days, lets make it three, may go out for a cig later, if it stops raining.
Right I'm off, to go put some tights on at least, I'm freezing, as soon as my mum goes back to work after her dinner that heating is going straight on !
cya x

Smile

Listening to glee soundtrack, Skins begins tomorrow !
Just been googling for thinspo, need to lose another 5lbs I'm beginning to feel fast again, well just arms and legs anyhooo.
I shan't mention that fact to mama :D
Need to seriously quit comparing myself to others, anyway, party on Saturday going to buy some strawberry's and bananas tomorrow from the market, or on Friday, whenever its on and make a smoothie and put some vodka init, Ive also got my cranberry juice to add too. Should be nice, if not cigarettes should be fine and ill maybe trade someone ha !
Not sure what time to stay till though, Ive got work the next day, but i may just spend Saturday asleep so i wont really miss out, sometimes were up till like 8 the next day.
Need to get sorted tomorrow i have the morning off from college so lie in and ill get all my stuff at dinner time, should be a good day i hope. I'm going to do my Pilate's soon, sort those arms and legs out anyways so seeyaaaa x

Boston

I think I'm just going to title my blog post's to whatever song I'm listening to at that time, seems alot easier than making up one. Wish that was the case for my blog spot name, i don't want it ! i want to change it ! but every time i do someone else already has it ! arghh so doing my head in.
Tried practising on my guitar yesterday and today, got frustrated because i couldn't get it. Going to have to go to the neighbours tomorrow and ask him to help me learn,. or at least look like i can play it. I need to learn use somebody, buy Pixie Lott's version, so i can mime to it in my music video i have to make for college. Need a storyline of some sort to go to it as well though , otherwise it's just going to be me playing a song.
Id write more but i really cant be bothered, i think I'm going to go exercise soon too, my backs starting to hurt, but I'm too full ATM I've eaten a Monday dinner, and i rushed it so it feels weird at the minute, ill go and exercise at half 8, although i do have lots to do tomorrow, going to get up early, either dye my hair first thing or at night, depends on my sister, hope it doesn't go wrong ! ugh
then i have to go pick up some results from Don Valley although i could do that on Wednesday after college and walk home, not sure depends on the whether.
Well Ciao ! x

Hey there

Forgot to write on this yesterday way too busy and then i just fell asleep.
Forgot to fucking exercise nearly !
Did Pilate's although i miss my skipping :( haven't done it since Tuesday, my bodies just exhausted. Went for a beaut run though, no-one down the tracks, the cold air hurt though when i stopped, made it better.
So yesterday i did my presentation, i think it went well, got either a merit or distinction,I'm not sure if the teacher likes me though. Handed in all my essays and film for Breakfast Club in 60 seconds, id rather get the distinction or merit than win the comp although that would be fun :D
Felt like i was going to have a heart attack doing the presentation, my voice sounded like i was going to cry, but apparently i didn't 'look' nervous, although I'm assuming i bored people so much that they didn't notice.
This guy in my class just winged it, i mean it seemed like he knew he was talking about, well his confidence helped it to look that way, i want to be that confident, sumet i need to work on i guess.
Teachers have already started asking us all what we wanna do as a realistic career. Most people in my class want to be directors. Or start off as a runner.
I have NO clue, i change my mind to much. Id like to work for heat, or on MTV as a presenter. Just something interesting and fun that will keep you busy and motivated. I just want to put my energy to something worth while that people are going to anticipate. You know like on films when you see all of the credits, imagine how proud the people who have contributed to making a TV show, film or even music video. I want to be a part of that, no matter how big or small.
So today, got to work (late again) my dad refuses to set off before half past, i mean i have to get dressed and go on the shop floor at 5 too. Today was good at work, wounder how many calories Ive burned. I feel like I'm gaining weight when i miss exercise even though I'm losing it without trying these days. I just feel lazy though, I'm always exhausted, drinking water constantly and you know what that leads too, and then I'm craving chocolate, but i just end up having one of those snack twix's or a chunk of chocolate, i don't even like it but now its like i have to have it, like when your incredibly thirsty, your not satisfied until you've clenched that craving or thirst. Which makes me feel worse and fatter because I'm too tired to exercise, well exercise properly which is usually half an hour skipping and then 20 minutes on Pilate's. I just keep managing to do my Pilate's and sit ups and squats and stuff every night, but i miss my cardio :( well with some hope ill just have breakfast and something to eat when i get home from work and start my exercise at 7 and get my cardio if anything else. Or dancing ha Ive never been dancing but its not hard, i mean with all the dance shows on TV these days its not difficult to pick some moves up and make them your own.
Well seeing as I'm shattered once again I'm going to finish playing on cafe world on face book and go and do Pilate's for a stretch before i go to bed.
See ya ! x

How creative !

http://blo64rt.blogspot.com/

this person does really good backgrounds, quite proud of my blog now seeing as i only started it the other day :D just need to 'click' around

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh anyways back to work !
stop distracting me !

Do you want to go to the seaside ?

So just woke up from a nap (always exhausted of late) and i figured id write a post before i get into doing my prompt cards for tomorrows presentation that should have been done ages ago.
I cant believe i woke up and started crying because my mum and dad had fish and chips without me , clearly very tired, i mean, how pathetic ! so i ended up feasting on 2 bowls of fucking Frosties instead, i have no clue why i wasn't even that hungry, or so i thought, even though i practically drank them. Never gonna be an Edie at this rate ! ha ha
Just been listening to the Kooks as I'm sure your aware of by my title for this post, just thought for my music video (that Ive got to do for college soon) i could do that song with Alex, pretending to mime to and play the guitar i guess, need some clips of him with a girl or something like that, I'm not sure, more research to do yet on what kind of video i can do.
Still going to get my prompt cards out of the way and chill out as tomorrow is going to be a long day, tons due in.
Bye x

FAT LEGS, CAMEL TOE MAKES A MAN GO HELL NO

ha ha the title honestly made me laugh
i love how this thing has spell check too, i type to fast
so clearly you can tell I'm rambling just to get into the flow of using this thing

I shall tell you about my day, its been shit, well no actually just when i was at college it was.
That may have more to do with the fact that i was in a crappy mood after spending the night at Alex's with Ashley having a little 'rave' til the early hours of the morning.
I was put into a further shitty mood because of this stupid teacher called Denice and her pointless key skills lesson. I mean I've had to do English and Maths since i was little i got my grades and because i don't have the piece of frigging paper to prove it (which i doubt i even got, but that's just me passing blame i guess) i may have to resit them. EXAMS ARGHHH ! I cant handle exams at all hence the reason for doing a course which are all assignments not exams. HELLO I DID THIS FOR A REASON !
That was just my morning, then i had to listen to this pointless drivel from my other teacher Rodney who has more knowledge about alcohol than his previous life spent in the media business, along with the even more mindless drivel off my fellow students, who clearly nearly ALL have ADD. They never shut the fuck up and it's all about nothing, for example computer games, computers, formats etc n blah blah blah. Personally it all sounds like they each try to Google as much info as they can on media just so they can 'beat' each other to sound smarter.
Although surprisingly the 'geeks' in the class, id pick to hang out with over any day, at least they can take turns talking and discussing a topics instead of trying to shout over each other to get their point across.

So after slagging off almost all my college class, which isn't all that bad when I'm in a good mood and they haven't been fed sugar by their mothers in a morning.

So yeah, came home, ate went to sleep, woke up at like 6 came on here, got tea and drank a ridiculous amount of water (which i cant get enough of these past few weeks, SO THIRSTY) and sorted my Ipod out and began writing this.

Wait no, i did go to 3 shops with my sister to get some milk and bread, because everywhere was shut. I love how she tries to cram in a months worth of talking in possibly 5 minutes and its not like she wants my opinion. i haven't seen her in ages, she has a new boyfriend who i think she is going to move in with very soon, mother will be distraught. She clearly was when my brother went to uni and never looked back, which is a GOOD thing. He's now living in Newcastle with his girlfriend designing for some designer who i can never remember, but he seems happy, and has the same bleak outlook i have on Doncaster. It's just depressing, it's more of a town of 'what was, than what is' i mean my mum and dad are always going on about how great it was, and now how it's just gone. Hello don't depress me anymore.

I'm glad they're doing there own thing, but it's hard when you have to see how it's effecting my mum and dad, but that's part of having kids, you've got to let them go. (cliche i know)
I'm just worried what my departure will do, will they stay together or not? Well just under 2 more years to wait and see i guess. Tons to do in that time, i have to go to concerts! stop out camping the summer's, go on a holiday with my friends both abroad and in England.

Think i may have just about completely killed people with boredom to whoever reads this, i forget if it's set to private, but hey no-one knows me, i think.

Time to spell check (habit)

Later x

The Lodge

First post

Alex set this up for me, looks like RPattz tbh but my heart still belongs to him lol (its a joke, no-one ever gets them) anyhooooo going now to cheer Alex up with Ashley, and join his little 'gathering' cause its not really a party. TIME TO DANCE,DRUGS AND DRINK (water, cba with drink and drugs, its a school night for christ' sake! )

Ciao bopiiiii :D

x